2 years!

It's crazy that this happened two years ago!

Time sure does fly.  

I loved this day. 

So many special people around me. 

I love this gospel. 

The end. 

~Linz

Food for thought....

Today has been a rough day. 

 The kind were nothing goes right. 

Where negativity seems to be constant and taking over your thoughts. 

The type of day that you just want over. 

The kind that makes my testimony of God, stronger. 

That no matter how bad a day

There is ALWAYS good. 

Like a friend you can have long, in-depth, thought -provoking conversations with. 

A friend who shares things like this with you:

Everyone longs to give themselves to someone-- to have a deep soul relationship with another-- to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But , God says, "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone-- with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me". I love you, my child. And until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-- exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-- a plan you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things-- keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That's all. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at the things others have gotten or I have given them. Don't look at the things you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

Then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would even dream of. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready at the same time-- until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you-- you won't be able to experience the love exemplified in you relationship with Me, and is thus, perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love I offer you with, Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God. Believe it, and be satisfied." -Author Unknown

~Linz

Firsts

I have had a lot of new experiences the past 5 months.  

                                                       I came home from my Mission

I went to my first Temple Sealing

I did something new to my hair

I got my first 4.0 in college

Cleaned the temple

Went to Spirit Conference
I drove the longest distance ever
Served as an I-Rep


It's been a great few months and I've seen a lot of blessings.
I'm ready for more adventures :)

~Linz

Christmas Blessings

It has been great to be home for Christmas!

Last Christmas, I was in Fort Collins, Colorado. 

So weird to think that was a year ago!

I have had many blessings the past week. 

We were able to skype Chandler today, that was fun. 

The biggest present that I was able to get...

Background: For the past 5 years or so, I have journaled through LDS journal.  

Here are some stats for you. 

Entries:735
Journal Word Count: 632,953

I got home from my mission and tried to log on with no luck.  

I found out LDSJournal had 1. Discontinued the site and 2nd, if you don't log on in 6 months, they deactivate your account. 

 Well I had been on a mission for 18 months.  

I tried contacting them for the past 5 months, since i have been home with no luck. 

I gave up hope, with a saddened heart.  

Hoping that when I die, my journal will be in heaven. 

Today, I decided to try one more time. 

I prayed and hoped. 

and guess what. 

IT WORKED!

I am beyond excited. 

Christmas Miracle!

Hoping the Spirit of Christmas is finding you all well. 

~Linz

5 lessons from this weekend

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend Spirit Conference.  

I learned quite a bit, so I'll summarize them in 5 lessons.
I hope I can adequately express my thoughts.
1. God always has a hand in our lives. In those moments of quiet reassurances it becomes more real to me that I am where I am supposed to be. I was born in the time I needed to be.  I am supposed to be at BYU-Idaho.  It's the perfect fit for me.  I was supposed to go on a mission at that specific time.  My life has been divinely directed by God. Easy? No. Worth it? Yes! 

2. We are to share what we know. "Touch for good the lives of people everywhere."

"We have an obligation to point the way." There is never a point in our lives where doing good or helping others should stop. Just because I am here at BYU-Idaho, a school full of Mormons, doesn't mean I can't have the opportunity to share what I know or serve them.  There is always a person that we can help.  Pray for the opportunity to share and help others during the day.  Heavenly Father uses us to be that "Angel" for someone else.  

The next three lessons are from the Spirit Challenge. I have done this activity before at Girl's camp. Every time, a unique perspective is developed.

 We were blindfolded and led to a field and sent through an obstacle course, representing our life here on earth.  

3.  Satan deceives us by telling us truths to fit in lies. 

After a long stretch of sliding my hands along a rope, I reached an obstacle.  A voice said to me: "You need to let go, you aren't on the right path.  This is a rope, not a rod of iron.  In the scriptures it says they held onto a rod of iron.  Is this a rod of Iron?" No.  "Here go under the rope and take my hand."  It was logical to me.  It made sense.  I thought it through and went under the rope.  No hand was there to guide me.  I had been deceived and that frustrated me! That was truth though! I am reading the Great and Terrible series by Christ Stewart, (blog coming soon about that) In the books he talks about the nature of Satan.  That's what he does.  He tells us truth to ultimately deceive us.  He will tell us whatever he can to have us follow him.  It became very evident to me in this exercise.  The consequences were immediate.  He was not there to help me.  I was left alone.  

4. We are never truly alone. 

After debriefing we were told that as we went through the course, there were people constantly watching us, around us, near us.  I never saw them or heard them, only a few times.  It made me realize that while we are here on the earth, we have people rooting for us. Unseen people.  Our Heavenly Father, Christ, our ancestors, family members and friends that have passed.  They are all there hoping we choose right, that we make it back.  It was also apparent that along with good there is evil forces watching us as well, hoping that we fail and become miserable like them.  

“There are others watching over you from the other side of the veil. We watch. We listen. And we understand. We never leave your side, Azadeh. Someone is always near, someone who knows you and loves you and wants you to succeed. You are never alone. There is always someone there. Think of that, remember, and it will give you the strength that you need.” - Chris Stewart.  

5.  We are bombarded with distractions every day.  

In the beginning, we were placed in a field and these speakers came on blasting heavy metal music, mixed with tragic news articles, and someone talking about how awful the apostles were.  My soul hurt.  It was all I could hear.  It was chaos and unnerving.  Maybe it was due to still trying to get used to music, after being home for only 3 months.  I did learn this, every day we are faced with distractions.  I open my computer and I am bombarded with depressing, tragic news that has happened in the world.  Are we letting the things of the world distract of things that really matter? 

Are we allowing ourselves to feel the Spirit? 

Are we constantly filling our time with plugged into music? 

Do we give ourselves some quiet, non-interrupted time throughout the day?

~Linz

My Thanksgiving list

The things I am grateful for, would probably take too much time to time, and be boring for you to read. 

So here is a shortened version.

1. My family- the ones that wrote me consistently, a refuge, my cheer squad, and the ones that have my back. always. 

2. The gospel- The answers that I have.  The peace I feel.  The Happiness I enjoy. 

3.  America- I am blessed to live in a country, where I can be who I want, say what I want, do what I want.  Thanks to those that keep it this way. 

4.  Those wonderful people in Colorado, Nebraska, and Wyoming- The ones that fed me, took care of me, encouraged me, listened to me, helped me, housed me, befriended me. You made all the difference. Thank you!

5. Education- I am getting a top-notch education, for really cheap, in a wonderful, enriching, gospel environment.
6. Food- The ability to eat and the ability to make.  I love both.
Happy Thanksgiving!

~Linz

Time.

Lately, I have been thinking about the word time.  

It encompasses so much. 

It's what runs our days.

We measure our life by it. 

It runs whether we want it to or not. 

It goes by quickly.  

In 4 days, I'll have been home from my mission for 3 months.  

Um What? 

Sometimes, It feels like that was a lifetime ago. 

Did I really just accomplish serving a mission?

How did I get old enough to even do that?

My family...we are older now. 

My brother is now in Peru, on his mission. 

Time is just going. 

It's exciting, scary, confusing, thrilling. 

It's humbling to know that amount of time is not in our hands. 

The only thing we have control over is how we use the allotted time. 

So here's to living life. 

Take risks, be happy, love those around you.

~Linz

Mission Series: Daily Study

If you don't have time for prayer and scripture study, 
you are busier than God intended you to be.

I have been home a little over 2 months now.  

I know I said the same thing every missionary says before they go home:

I want to keep studying the scriptures everyday. 

Wow.  I forgot how busy and insane life is. 

I do know this, when I read my scriptures before my day starts, it goes much more smoothly.  We have an opportunity to gain knowledge and revelation 
on what God wants for us that day.  

We also have an opportunity to use our studies to help those around us.  

As missionaries, one of the neatest things was reading something that morning and then being able to go out that day and share it with someone else.  

Our studies can be used to help others around us. 
If you are bored from your daily studies
Find a study structure that helps you. 
There is power that comes from Prayer and scriptures study!

Prayer and scripture study should be daily non-negotiables. 

~Linz

A Good start

Today has been good. 

Remember when I said sometimes my posts are more for me than you?
Well today, I just want to list all the things that went right.
I woke up and checked my i-learn.
Three 100% on different assignments
Comment from my teacher:

Made my day!
Our group only missed two questions on those crazy, hard CIT quizzes.
I studied for my Disease class.
I was so nervous and felt really unprepared.
We have to know the following per disease(This test was covering around 40 diseases.) 

a.) Description

b.) Etiology

c.) Pertinent Signs and Symptoms

d.) Diagnostic Procedures

e.) Treatment

f.) Prognosis

g.) Prevention

I took the test, some were pretty hard. 

Walked out and got a 92%!!!!!

I made crispy chicken salad for dinner. 

Clean ate all day. 

Finished the night off by going to the gym for the first time 

in 20ish months. Sad. 

Felt so good. 

The end. 

~Linz

Because 20 days wasn't enough...

This past weekend I was able to go home to California!

Chandler was going through the temple and doing all his farewell activities. 

I really loved being at home, I miss it!

Here are some highlights from the weekend :)

Chandler loves MB2 and wanted to race me.  

He beat me pretty good!

We celebrated with going to pizza after. 

Went to the Temple

Our whole family was inside the temple that night. 

Very cool!

Got frozen yogurt and 5 guys. 

Went shooting on Saturday. 

Chandler gave a great farewell talk. 

Then we took our last picture together for the next two years :(

It ended all too quickly, time to go back to Rexburg.

~Linz

Mission Series: God Knows Best

As I came in contact with more and more people

It became more evident how much God really knows best. 

Take for example the Word of Wisdom.  

We focus on the cant's. 

I can't drink coffee, can't drink tea, can't drink alcohol, can't smoke. 

When in reality commandments free us. 

They empower us!

Let me share a story.  

I met this lady she was so sweet and I loved her. 

She needed the gospel in her life.  

She did every drug known to man, used to be a drug dealer. 

She had a really hard life, one I'm glad I didn't have. 

She gave up all those hard drugs, cold turkey. 

She couldn't give up coffee and cigarettes.  

They had such a powerful hold on her. 

It was then I really realized

God created us, that means He knows what is good for us and what isn't. 

That when we live the commandments we are truly free. 

When we use drugs we are under their power. 

I am so glad I was able to learn and follow the Word of Wisdom from a young age. 

That I don't have to deal with addictions. 

That I am truly happy and free.

~Linz

Mission Series: Choices

So I'm about to get a bit honest. 

My mission taught me so much.

But it's crazy how fast I have forgotten those lessons. 

My mission president told me that would happen. 

That would be Satan's ultimate goal, to make me forget. 

Before I left on a mission, I had 4 classes and an internship left.

Essentially a semester left.  

I would be graduating with a degree in Healthcare Administration.

About a few months into my mission, I didn't really feel like I wanted to do that anymore. 

I put it off, I'll worry about it when I get home. 

Well, I am now home and it's been hard. 

I feel behind in life compared to others. 

I feel a bit lost. 

Unsure of what I want to do with my life. 

Everyone told me that it would be ok, I have time, no return missionary knows what they want when they come home. 

Which I knew it would be fine.
It's all in God's hands.
Does that make it easier?
But maybe, I was starting to use it as a crutch. 

To go backwards instead of forwards.  

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend Power to Become Conference.  

This conference was great! 

I learned so much and took tons of notes.  

It was both informative, inspirational, fun, and powerful. 

But the main message that I learned was this:

Don't be paralyzed by indecision.

I remembered learning this as a missionary. 

 God can't move a parked car.

As you are moving, course correction will happen.  

~Linz

A mini Update

The weather in Rexburg has been delightful!

I am so excited to go to California next week!

I got back from a great weekend in Utah!

I went to my first mission reunion.  

It was so fun to see people.
so Surreal.  

Wait I really served a mission. 

I know these people, because I served a mission. 

So surreal that I can now "legally" hug those former elders.  

I should have taken pictures. Oh well. 

I went to General Conference for the first time. 

It was so Awesome!!!

See pictures here:

In the past month, it feels like all I have been doing is sitting in a car. 

So I decided to roughly calculate the hours spent in a car. 

About 60 hours. 

Oakland, Fresno, Utah, Yellowstone, Fort Collins, back to Utah. 

It's been fun. 

Have a fantastic day!

~Linz 

Misson Series: The Good You Do

As I watched this video it reminded me so much of my life as a missionary.

Every day we plan, make back up plans, have countless things to do.

And everyday, usually, those plans never work out.

Tears came to my eyes as I remembered those days

Where it seemed like nothing went right.

Where I felt like an absolute failure.

Like nothing I did that day was right.

I came home discouraged and wanted to just give up.

Some days, nothing went the way we had planned, but it went the way God wanted it to go.

That was amazing!

I remember one night in particular, we had lessons planned

Slowly, they started canceling. one by one.

NO NO NO! not today.

A thought came to visit someone.

We did and it was so great!

"I really needed someone today and then you showed up."

I was so glad that I could help in some small way.
And that was a powerful lesson to me, that we can always be that angel that someone needs. 

“You never know. You never know whether you do any good. You never know how much good you do.”- Gordon B. Hinckley

~Linz

Source: Talk

One month! God is Mindful

It was fitting that at the one month mark since I have been home....
Which...how did that happen so fast?!

I was able to go to FORT COLLINS! and see Kelsey get baptized!
It was incredible that this trip actually happened.
I am reminded over and over again how God's hand is always in my life.
Ready for a story?
Kelsey told me about a week after I got home that she decided to get baptized.
I was elated! understatement 
I had already set up a crepe party for sunday night.
I looked at flights which were pretty cheap but I would get back late and would not have a car to get from Denver to Fort Collins.
I asked around and nothing was looking really positive.
I wanted to Go!
So the Monday before the baptism, my roommates and I were out being immature and scaring people.
I ran into K.  and he said he lived with G. and H.
So we went over there and tried to scare them. Fail.
But it got brought up that Kelsey was getting baptized and I wanted to go.
They thought about it and wanted to go too.
We would leave and get there just in time for the baptism and then come home in time for the crepe party!
Guess what?
It worked out and I had a fantastic weekend!
Tcby, Silver Grille, Awkward YSA dances, cake pops
I got to spend time with Moriah!
Just to name a few
Here are some pictures!
I was able to be with some great people.
I felt like a missionary again because I felt like I was in the right place at the right time.
Life is good!

The drive to Fort Collins. Fall is here!

~Linz

Series: Book Of Mormon

Tonight we had dinner with the Sister Missionaries and we talked about the importance of the Book of Mormon.
How it is the keystone of our religion.  

I have been working on this post and felt impressed that I needed to finish it and share it.
So here it goes:
I Love the Book of Mormon. 

It was one of the few books that I could read the past 18 months.
I am so grateful I had the opportunity to be immersed in this divine book.  

The power that comes from this book changes lives.

I love to hear people's conversion stories that come from this book.
There are countless conversion stories I could tell, including the one about me.
How it brought me peace in a troubled time. 

It teaches one to become better. 

The stories in  the Book of Mormon aren't just stories, they happened to real people. 

They are written for us to learn from, to grow, to understand. 

It can heal a wounded soul. 

Comfort a worried heart. 

Calm a frantic mind. 

It will bring you closer to God, more than any other book can. 

It's another testament of Christ. 

It has His teachings in it.

If you haven't read the Book of Mormon, I would invite you to do so.
Take Moroni's challenge and find out for yourself. 

Let it change your life!

"For 179 years this book has been examined and attacked, denied and deconstructed, targeted and torn apart like perhaps no other book in modern religious history—perhaps like no other book in any religious history. And still it stands" -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

~Linz

Series: On being Grateful

Something I learned early on in my mission is that I need to be grateful. 

I was going through a hard time. 

In those hard times we tend to look at everything negative and question where are our blessings are. 

I was advised to look for miracles and blessings that happened that day.
Every night as I wrote in my journal, I would write something that happened that day that I was grateful for. 

Sometimes it was small, sometimes I had to search really hard. 

But there is something always there.  

And something changed, my attitude and outlook did. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today I am grateful for a loving dad. 

When I was having a rough patch, he could tell. 

He put his busy work time on hold and listened. 

Then he told me what I needed to hear. 

It may seem small to others, but it was huge for me. 

I am grateful for a dad who always believes in me. 

"The choice is ours. We can choose to limit our gratitude, based on the blessings we feel we lack. When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace."

~Linz

Series: A New Chapter

Its weird being back. 

I guess I didn't realize how being a missionary became so apart of me. 

The name tag, the skirt. Constantly being "on stage"

I went to the store today, someone looked at me, I looked to where my tag would be, it wasn't there. oh. 

Sometimes, I feel like a stranger. People look different. Taller, older looking. 

It's weird how a mission is so simple, so hard, so difficult, so good. 

Somethings have been easy to handle coming home, others not. 

Things that were once "important" aren't anymore. 

Do I jump into "normal" life or cautiously stick my toe in.  

Things that were clear, became muddied, confusing. 

My testimony has grown, the gospel is simple, the atonement is real!

The effects I saw that it had on people. Astounding. 

My beliefs were mocked, laughed at, challenged. 

It made me stronger, more sure of everything.

The gospel is really so simple.

These people will be apart of my life forever.

That makes me happy.  

I'm writing a series of what I learned from my mission. It's more for me than it is you. I can't be selfish though and keep what I learned to myself.  That would go against everything that I learned these past 18 months.  I gotta keep being a missionary :)

~Linz

Happy Birthday Moriah

I hope you have a great day!
Thanks for all those cheesy postcards!
This list still applies!
Love you!
~Linz

Happy Birthday Dad

Dad-
Sorry I'm not there to bake you a yummy treat.
I owe you one.
Thanks for treating my like a princess.
Thanks for always thinking of me.
Making me breakfast, getting me flowers for special days, loving me.
I appreciate everything you do.
I love you!
Love,
~Linz

Happy Birthday Mary

I hope your day is filled with joy
You are truly a great friend.
Go have some chips and tapatio!
~Linz

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday to a great mom.
Thanks for all that you do
and for putting up with my endless phone calls
and for always packing my suitcases
Thanks for loving me!
I love you
~Linz

Happy Birthday Dalin!

Happy Birthday Dalin!

WOW! I can't believe you are 14 now. You can go to dances! Ahhh.  

I owe you a snickers cake when I get home. :)

I miss you.  Don't get any taller.  

You are a smart boy.  It's been watching you grow up.
My protective younger brother.  

Thanks for being my partner in crime. 

Love you,
~Linz

Photo Credit: Gwen Hawkins                  

Happy Birthday Sadie

I am blessed to be your friend.
Have a great day.
Ps. I randomly chose this picture and then realized it said Colorado.
~Linz

Happy Birthday Chandler!

Photo credit: Gwen Hawkins

Chandler,
Happy 18th Birthday.  I can't believe you are 18.  I also wish I was there to celebrate with you.
I hope you have a great day.  It's been fun watching you get older.  You are a great example.  You stayed positive when you hurt your leg.  You help others when they need help.  You are good at baking yummy treats.  I love you. Enjoy your day
Love,
~Linz